More Than Half Way

Yesterday was the beginning of the second half of my first round of chemo, the mega-dose session.
These sessions are preceded by a meeting with my oncologist and his fellow.  Besides the diarrhea and skin rashes, I told them my biggest concern is anxiety. I have taken an anti-anxiety drug for years. It has completely stopped my sleep disorder, the name of which I can't think right now. After 9/11, I asked to double my dose. And I recently upped it again. The trigger for yesterday's concern was getting ahead of myself in the treatment process. I happened to see some photos of post surgery and read some descriptions of some of the realities of post surgery recovery. I do not search the web for information to avoid knowing too much.
I told the Drs. that I could enter a study at Dana Farber, which would involve no surgery at all. I was surprised that Dr. Isakoff is all for it. He is even checking to see if MGH has a similar study. The fellow, whose I can't think of, will be going to Dana Farber in January, so I won't see him again unless I go there. He is excellent and will be a credit wherever he ends up. My fears were assuaged and my optimism continues.
There is one major sadness lurking in the background, some of my friends are going away for the winter. I know they are only a phone call away, but they are leaving a big hole. I am thinking of gong to the Cape one night a week with Dexter. I will stay with a friend, who is grateful for every extra day of life she is given. Her dog Chewy and Dexter have become great friends and bring joy and laughter to her.  We are family and I can be my slovenly self with her.  I can do a few of my favorite activities there before I come home the next day. Very therapeutic.
Speaking of therapy, I did a little retail therapy post chemo. MGH is right across the street from Beacon Hill. I had a mission, to find the surplus silk shop. They handle the top fabrics in the world, Fortuny, Scalamandre, etc. (Italian silk is superior to all others because their weaving technique does not destroy the triangular shape of the fibers, so the strength and the light refraction add life and durability ,unsurpassed). Years age, we bought a yard or two of a gold and royal blue silk, which we put on three chair cushions.  But now, out with the blue,  except for those 3 chairs, and in with pink. I got my week's worth of exercise, following every lead, but to no avail. Of course, I found some other treasures in my stops. One is a shirt. I have weeded out most of my Cape wardrobe, which was very casual and kept the more grown-up pieces. I do want to spend more time at The Boston Museum of Fine Arts as a Senior Associate (jeans are verboten there for us volunteers). This new shirt, found at a rather too young shop, meets all the old lady qualifications, with a little flare. Its suitably long, short sleeves are punctuated by little eyelets. It skims my body nicely and covers my chest appropriately. But it does have a little daring scooped back, which I can reveal or not.
Second Chance has a number of consignment shops in Boston, each with a different clientelle. This Beacon Hill shop has a little of the sophisticated NYC society bent. Though I found no clothes in my size, I spotted a pair of earrings I needed! During my years in Manhattan I lusted after many pieces by Kenneth J. Lane, but never bought anything cause they were just too expensive. This pair it returned out was by him, But it didn't matter, because they were mine no matter what. The are large, coral (color and shape) and rhinestone, clip-ons. I think I am wearing them backwards, but I love them covering half way up my ear onto my cheek (don't forget, I will be bald). I found a few other treasures, a couple of which will be Christmas presents, 20% off their already low prices!!!!
Another stop at a gourmet shop netted a 30 year-old bottle of balsamic vinegar, which tastes great with my base-metal taste buds and a number of other little treats, including a really pungent cheese that the clerk was surprised I liked. Those weird taste buds again.
At CVS, I got saline nose spray, which really helps my dry nostrils; some moose for adding some volume to my thin, short hair; a better color, moist lipstick for dry lips; and what I thought were panty shields, but turned out to be inserts (can't think of what the right name for Tampax products are), which I hope CVS will take back.
All in all a very fun and profitable therapy session.