I took my wig to Home Depot for its first outing. Andy saw it on me for the first time and said it looks like a wig. I think it wasn't on the right way. The nice young man who helped me with my first decision looked at my head in a funny way. The next person who helped was a darling young woman who left me in the rug department to look for the solution to my next dilemma. I got very hot and ripped the wig off my head. When she came back and had solved my problem, I asked if she knew I had been wearing a wig. "Yeeessss." Very long pause, "Do you know I am wearing a wig?" "No!"
Hers was a very loose Afro with her own hair sticking out front. Very attractive.
Anyway, she told me how pretty I am with or without The Wig.
On my next quest, I began to feel faint and hot. I stopped near a family and pulled off my very gaudy socks. The 2 little girls were spellbound watching me. Then I grabbed a bag of nuts to pump myself full of protein. I figured out the next steps for my stair project, but needed a drink badly. Found some GatorAde and began to recover. Then it hit.
I power waddled to the back of the store, where a clerk was closing off the Restroom section, keeping a couple of people at bay. Guess he could see there was no stopping me and he opened the 2 gates blocking the aisles to the ladies room.
I did live, again.
BTW, we are cooking a turkey at my Dad's over Christmas. In honor of his being a breast man and Becky and my having breast cancer, I suggest putting 2 halves of a lemon under the bird's skin:
Reminds me of a joke I told my dear, great uncle Chuck.
A guy bought a parrot at the pet shop. The owner told him the bird said naughty words. But the guy knew he could train the parrot to stop. He tried everything, but the parrot kept swearing. Finally the guy put him in the freezer for a little while. When the parrot got out, he asked, "What did the turkey do?"
Get it?
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